How do you really feel?
I haven’t been feeling very creative lately. It’s been harder to get words on the page than usual. But I know there’s no usual when it comes to writing. It comes in phases. There are some times when I write very frequently or in large chunks, and other times I could go weeks without writing anything. Sometimes I’ll put some notes that come to mind in my phone, other times I’ll grab a notebook and write and write and write. It comes flooding out of me uncontrollably. None of that has happened in a few weeks and I’m not trying to force anything. Typically no good writing comes from that.
So, in writing this email, I’m thinking about how I feel — physically in my body. If someone was to ask “how do you feel?” and actually want the real answer, my response would be:
A bit heavy. It’s clear that I gained a little weight the last few months and I can feel those extra pounds on my stomach. My weight has been steady for as long as I can remember so I don’t like how this feels. It feels unnecessary. I also don’t want to stop eating pasta. (I watched Bobby and Giada in Italy last night and it made me want to eat pasta in Italy so so so badly).
My chin is irritated, likely maskne. While I’m thrilled to see New York COVID-19 cases going down, I’m not ready to take my mask off 100% outdoors yet. I was quite impressed today while walking the streets — 90% of people were wearing masks too.
My legs feel heavy. I’ve started to realize that when I don’t have days where I walk a lot (over 10,000 steps), my legs remind me of the importance of it. I’d like to also get back to yoga to move my body further.
On Friday I walked on the beach without shoes and was so happy to have my feet in the sands. I love seeing my bright red toes as I take each step closer to the chilly ocean.
My hands are extremely dry. Maybe from the change of weather, maybe from the amount of hand sanitizer I use on a daily basis.
In the last two weeks, I’ve acquired a handful of new grey hairs. I had my first grey hair on my first day of the most stressful job in my life back in 2011. I have never dyed my hair and am not ready to start. I’m trying to embrace getting older, sort of.
I’m tired. I’m tired of the pandemic. I’m tired of the racism in this country and the world. I’m tired of hearing bad news. I’m tired of not being able to sleep through the night.
Today’s Prompt (10): Imagine your ideal reader asks you how you really feel -- today, this week, this month or this year. Write exactly how you feel. Show your reader what it’s like to be in your body right now.
Turn your phone on airplane mode and remove all distractions. Set a timer and write for 25 minutes. I encourage you to write in a notebook instead of on your computer or phone - don’t edit while you’re writing. When the timer goes off, if you have the time, space and interest to continue, go for it.
Happy writing!
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